


what are soulmates for?

by danhowellsjeans



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-21 21:59:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13152858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danhowellsjeans/pseuds/danhowellsjeans
Summary: for the deh secret santa!!





	what are soulmates for?

_"Fuck you, Evan! Asshole!"_

The words, thrown at me with an icy scowl and a tearful glare, made me feel like I was going to explode. My entire being was overwhelmed with despair, and I almost collapsed right there on the floor of my bedroom.

Jared Kleinman, my only friend, my _soulmate,_ was walking out the door. Tears in his eyes, an ache in his heart, he was leaving me, and I couldn't stop him.

I couldn't stop him because I caused this. It was my fault. As I finally sank to the ground, memories came running through my head. Memories of us together, happy. Of what real friendship was like, without the guise of 'simply family' to hide behind. Before I saw him drawing on his hand, only to turn and see the same thing drawn on mine.

Before I learned he was my soulmate.

Before, in less than a year, I managed to fuck everything we had up.

* * *

 

_"Come on, Holly! You're so slow, you're never going to catch up with me!" Jared's face was bright, a teasing smirk on his lips. Accepting the challenge, I ran as fast as my little legs would let me. I could tell Jared was going slow, but I still felt a sort of pride when I finally caught up to him._

_As we were coming upon the side of a road, I wasn't watching where I was going. Too busy giggling, returning the teasing remarks that my best friend had made towards me only moments before._

_I tripped. Silly me, tripping over the street curb. Surprisingly, I didn't cry. I glanced up with my little blue eyes at Jared, completely ignoring the blood dripping down my leg from under my long skirt._

_"I fell," I said, bluntly. Jared could only nod in response, though he was pulling out his emergency cell phone and calling his mother only moments later. I felt a bit bad, because I knew Jared didn't like the sight of blood. He seemed to be holding up alright, at least for the moment._

_He threw up when we got home._

_Needless to say, we spent the rest of the day inside._

* * *

 

I gently traced over the scar on my knee, sighing at the memory. It had been a long time since my fall, but I had never forgotten it. For some reason, my little seven-year-old mind chose to burn Jared's worried face into my mind for the rest of my life.

That was before our soulmate bond had activated. In some ways, I was thankful for that. I definitely did not want Jared to feel the pain of my skinned knee, especially after how hard the fall itself was.

In other ways, it just made my life harder. The time before I was a teenager was relaxed, enjoyable.

Then, I turned thirteen.

I realized my name wasn't Holly.

I realized I wasn't a girl.

* * *

 

_Sitting on my living room couch, Jared sitting in front of me, I realized that I had never felt so nervous in my life._

_"So what's up, Hol?" He was genuinely concerned, and I wanted to cry. Swallowing down my nerves, I finally spoke._

_"I'm not a girl." Well, that was about as blunt as I could put it. I'd planned on something more eloquent, something that would explain myself more. I could feel my face turning red with nerves, but I made no move to rescind my statement._

_"So you're a boy?" Jared looked a bit confused, though not inherently disgusted. I nodded slightly, and watched in surprise as a wide grin grew on his face. "Woah! We can be two bros, hanging out all the time. It'll be great!" He looked so happy._

_"Really? You're not going to run away from me?" I asked meekly. Jared shook his head violently._

_"Dude, of course not! You're my best friend, uh..." In the place where he would usually call me 'Hol,' there was nothing to place. He seemed a bit lost._

_"Evan," I said helpfully, a soft smile beginning to pull at the corners of my mouth._

_"Evan! That's a really nice name. I'm gonna call you Ev from now on, okay?"_

_I laughed. "Okay."_

* * *

 

Jared had been so supportive of me then. It made me feel warm, happy, like nobody had ever made me feel.

It hadn't taken me a long time to realize I was in love with him. In all honesty, for a while, I completely believed that he felt the same about me. It was only when high school started that I learned differently.

* * *

 

_"Jared! Wanna hang out after school today?" My eyes were bright as I spoke, bouncing over to Jared. We'd just started high school, and he'd already found a new group of friends._

_We'd promised each other not to leave, though, and I trusted him._

_"Sorry, Ev, I can't. I've got...things to do." My face fell at his words. This wasn't the first time he's rejected any of my offers to hang out, and I highly doubted it'd be the last._

_I just smiled and turned away, waving goodbye from behind me._

* * *

 

He'd never been the same after high school started. _We'd_ never been the same. I don't know what happened, but I wish we could go back.

My mind, suddenly, returned to the present. My butt hurt, and I realized how long I'd been sitting there, alone, on the floor of my bedroom. 

I jumped up. I had to find Jared, had to tell him. It wouldn't change anything, but he deserved to know.

I scrambled down the stairs, not even bothering to put on a jacket before I was out the door. I fully expected a walk to the Kleinman's, but...Jared was there, sitting on the edge of the sidewalk. His form was shaking, and I knew he was crying.

"Jared?" I asked, nervously. He whipped around, his eyes dull. 

"So you're just going to come running back? I see how it is. I'm only good for you when it's convenient," he snarled. I winced at his words, not saying anything in response. He stared at me for a moment. "So what, you just gonna stand there all day?" 

"I'm sorry." Jared opened his mouth, probably to call bullshit, but I held up a hand. "Before you call bull, I know that sorry won't fix a damn thing. I know that we can never be what we used to be, whatever the hell that was. Best friends? Sure." I sighed, gripping the bottom of my shirt.

"Did you know we're soulmates? Funny, right?" I glanced at Jared, expecting nothing, only to recoil at the sheer volume of emotion crossing his face. 

"What the fuck do you mean? Why in the name of _everything_ didn't you tell me?" He stood from his place on the sidewalk, stepping forward to grab the collar of my shirt. "You're a fucking prick."

_Slap._

I deserved that. Though, when he winced from the transferred pain, I felt a bit guilty. As the stinging pain of Jared's hand receded from my cheek, I sighed again. "I wasn't sure you liked me anymore. Not after high school started." He frowned deeply at my words, but he seemed to know exactly what I meant.

"Yeah, okay." Jared leaned back, pinching the bridge of his nose harshly. I felt the ghost of his touch on my own nose, and I instinctively reached up to press a finger to it. His eyes followed my hand, letting it be for only a moment before reaching out and taking it into his own.

The next thing I knew, Jared's always-slightly-too-pink lips were pressed against mine in a brief kiss. The action didn't prove any sparks, though the warm feeling that spread from my lips to my toes felt nice.

When he pulled away, he looked only slightly less upset. "This doesn't fix anything," he said sternly.

"I know."

I did know. We'd made it this far, though, and I knew we could make it through this.

After all, what kind of soulmates would we be?


End file.
